Born This Way

I was speaking to a friend one time about life, kids and things in general.  Eventually the conversation drifted to the subject of marriage.  For all appearances she had a wonderful life,  a loving husband and two wonderful kids.  As we talked she revealed to me an issue that had troubled their family from the day she and her husband had met.  They were a mixed race couple, she African-American and he of European descent. 

Their issue was that her family had never approved of her marriage to this man.  That was when she said something that absolutely floored me:  If she had to do it all over again she would have never married someone of a different race.  At this point, I admit, I had to stop her.  I stopped her because it was apparent from what she was saying that her problem had nothing to do with race.  Race is something we are born into.  You are either European, Asian, African, Indian, or Middle Eastern.  You don't have any control over that.  Race determines the color of your skin and the shape of your face - pretty much that's it, nothing more.  Her issue was not with race, it was an issue of culture.  He was different.  He didn't think or act like they did, didn't come from a similar background,  and they didn't like it.

Culture is the way we act and think.  It is the result of a series of events, people, and actions that happen to us on that timeline we all call life.  In our day and age of this modern society many of our fallacies of judgment are based on a misunderstanding of this concept.  I would, however, be remiss to not admit that our society has committed many horrific transgressions on the basis of racial judgment.  But culture can be of a completely different nature and deserves a greater effort to truly understand.

You see,  I am a male (no control over that). I have a wife and three wonderful kids.  If I am absolutely honest with myself, I can look back on my life and realize that where I am today is not a result of who I am.  Who I am is a result of where I am today.  Every event in my life, every person I've met, and every choice I have made has brought me to where I am.  If you go back and change any one single part of any one event I would be a different person than I am right now.  Maybe not by a lot, maybe completely different, but different none the less.

An Olympic athlete does not run laps in his crib from the day he or she is born.  Abe Lincoln did not lead the babies in the nursery to reconciliation through incredible strife and division.  These abilities and character traits are the results of the culture in which they were raised, the events that occurred to them and around them through the course of their life.  They were not born that way, but became as they did by the influences of the events and people and choices around them.  The same is true on the other end of society and everywhere in between.   As Abraham Lincoln chose a path that led him to the presidency, an alcoholic chooses to lift that next drink, the dutiful dad chooses to get out of bed in the morning and head off to work to support his family. 

The life events that shape us move us beyond the color of our skins and the shape of our face.  Our choices make us who we are.  Better or worse, right or wrong, we are who we are because of who we have become.  I was not born this way, but I have become this way by the choices that I have made.

Gun Control?

As I sit here reading articles in the news about the aftermath of the latest mass shooting, about the tragedy, about the shooter's motives, about our politicians coming to our rescue to make this stop happening,  I can help but wonder where we all have gone so wrong.

One article tells about how we are going to solve this problem by passing new laws to control who has guns.  The next story tells of a boy who takes a gun to school because he is afraid he would be shot.  In one rampage the shooter is confronted by unarmed individuals who sacrifice themselves to save others.  In another the gunman is stopped short by an armed man, who doesn't shoot him, but forces him away from the people he is attacking so that no one else will get hurt.

As a nation, as a society, it is time that we admit to ourselves that we are broken.  New gun laws are only a band aid on bullet wound.  They might help on the surface, but the actual wound goes much deeper.

In the 1950s in our nation the top two complaints of teachers in our schools were students talking in class and students chewing gum.  What has gone wrong in the last sixty years to our world?

Over the past six decades in America, in the name of freedom, we fill our children's minds with progressively more violent movies and more violent video games and then act surprised when our children act violently. We fill their eyes with bedroom comedy and bathroom humor and act surprised at the teen pregnancy rate. We strive to provide our children a "better life" but abdicate our social responsibilities in the name of freedom and individual rights.

We need to step up and make ourselves, every one of us, better.  Not richer.  Not stronger.  Better.   Better at making choices that are not harmful to our life or to others.  Better at caring what goes into ours and our child's mind.  Better at taking responsibility for the outcome of our lives and the lives of those whom we can influence.

The wounds of our society are not born from the lack of law, or from the lack of enforcement by the authorities.  It is born from the individual.  Born from a society of individuals that see no value in working toward a common good with common values that benefit us all.  Born from our belief that even if we just do all the right things and take care of ourselves, that allowing others to govern themselves in the way they see fit will somehow not touch us.

The issue at hand, my friends, has very little to do with guns, or knives, or rocks, or clubs.  It goes much deeper than that.

One Man, One Woman

The debate rages on in our society today: should we declare, once and for all, that we as a people recognize marriage as a union only between one man and one woman. Many arguments have been laid out by both side. Love and marriage are emotional things. Emotional things lead to emotional debates. At the core of the entire issue lies the question that I have yet to hear anyone on either side answer - What exactly is "marriage". To answer this question is to answer the debate.

From the beginning of time, no matter how you measure it, man and woman have been getting together for the purpose of the advancement of the species - so to speak. No matter how science today intervenes, no matter what they do with invetro or surrogates or anything else, without the contributions somewhere in the process of one man and one woman you and I would not be here today. So is that "marriage". In centuries past in many societies would say yes. Many other societies would say no. Here again the debate rages on. For centuries it was deemed the realm of the privileged to maintain a devoted relationship. It was one of the things that separated mankind from the beasts. (actually there are quite a number of species out there that mate for life) Something in our mind that required resources and dedication not available to those less fortunate beings. As our affluence has grown and persisted this pendulum has sometimes swung in the other direction. Some in society would argue that it is the privilege of the affluent to do as they wish with no attachments or obligations to any commitment whatsoever. But that is a debate for a different blog.

So marriage requires dedication. That seems to be a common thread on all sides. But one man and one woman? In centuries past, family units included multiple marriage relationships. Heck even Solomon had seven hundred wives. [ Yet he was unhappy (can we all pause here and say "Duh!")] Today, our society has decided that this type of thing is not something that we support. Polygamy - one man with more than one wife, or one woman with more than one husband - is not something that we practice today. So what changed? Have we become more "advanced"? Have we become wiser through the ages? Possibly a little of both. It may be an oversimplified view, but still has some truth to it to say that polygamy existed centuries ago as a form of natural survival. Fact is that in a hunter / gatherer society men, doing their manly thing, got killed more often than women did. Here is where the economist steps in and explain the laws of supply and demand. As our society has become more "civilized" this necessity has waned. Some have attempted at times to declare this lifestyle a right of the privileged but, for the most part, they have been rejected. The fundamental foundational need no longer supports their desire. But is this marriage? Advancement of the species is happening all around us today without the foundation of a man and a woman dedicated to each other in marriage. Of course that is another debate for another blog once again.

So what then really is marriage? Is it something that has its foundation in our society's history? Something that cannot be changed? Is it something that is fluid and decided upon by each generation of our human race?  Until we decide to decide what this thing is that we call marriage, our debate over what form marriage should take and who it should be granted to shall continue to be just emotional voices tossed against each other in the wind.

I am NOT part of the "99%"

…or am I?

I recently read a blog post from an Occupy movement (Occupy Wall St, Occupy Boston, etc) sympathizer. The writer had take exception to a photo that was going around the internet that was posted in direct contrast to the claims of this movement. Although I do not agree with all of the conclusions of that writer, it was an interesting glimpse into the mindset of this segment of our society. More importantly it has driven me to deeper thought on the subject for the last few days. After all, that is the purpose of a protest, is it not? To bring attention to a social disparity, perceived or real, and cause others to think about it more deeply.

Every movement in history striving to bring about social change has begun with a small band of noisy protestors. The suffragette movement, the anti-slavery movement, the civil rights movement, the environmental movement, and on and on. What scares us about this type of thing is the perception of chaos and threat to our lives and livelihood. What is driving this movement is an underlying need to be heard by a small, but apparently significant segment of our society.

Good economic times cover many sins of society. Bad economic times can bring those sins to the surface, often in chaotic threatening ways. The members of this movement are berating corporate America for their callous disposal of so many lives in the form of layoffs and cutbacks. They see these actions as driven by “corporate greed”. The reality in many cases is that it is not corporate greed but corporate arrogance that has brought us to this point. And it is truly a corporate, with a little “c”, as in society. It is not the letting people go that is the root of this problem. That is merely the result of previous errors in judgment. It is the historical expansion that is beyond fiscal responsibility that is driving much of our current dilemma. Growth beyond our ability to sustain ourselves: individuals do it via bank loans and credit cards, government does it via debt sales and taxation, corporations do it via stock sales and cash flow management.

There is a very good reason that most of the parables of Jesus recorded in the Bible deal with the issue of money. It has been a problem ever since Adam brought home that new Ronco field plow and Eve just had to redecorate the kitchen because the neighbors had a new fire pit. (sorry about the stereotypes here, but you get the point) It is our nature to want more, to improve, to strive for something better. It is when we lose sight of what is “better “ that we get into trouble. Is “better” really just having more stuff? Absolutely not. “Better” is having family and friends whom you can help when they need it and who can help you when you are down. Sometimes “better” is being that boss, or corporate CEO that can provide opportunity to the work force through leadership that God has gifted them with. Sometimes "better" is being the best darn bolt inserter on the assembly line from 9-5 and going home on time to play catch with your kids. The common ground for everyone here can be found in the lessons of the Bible: live within your means, do all things for the good of others, and do not strive to reward yourself – your rewards will come in the form of blessings from others whom you have touched with your life.

So am I part of the “99%”? I’m still not sure. No, I’m not going to go downtown and camp in the park or anything. But I am going to take a look at my checkbook and see where my money is going. You should too. Maybe together we can make a little difference in at least one person’s life.

Visualize Whirled Peas

My daughter doesn’t like peas. Never has, probably never will. She gets that from her dad. Lima Beans or green beans no problem, but peas…? There’s a reason they call those straw things pea shooters (which are more accurate and less messy if the peas are still frozen, by the way). Yup, you got your whole condiment artillery here: Pea shooters for close range, olives make great sling shot ammo for the mid range engagement, and of course the potato gun for those long range targets. I have nothing against potatoes, but peas and olive have no other use in my life.

There are times in our lives that we are faced with things that we just don’t want to do. We stare ahead with disbelief at what is being required of us. How can we get out of this? How can we get around this? Or when all else fails, how can we swallow without having to taste it at all? What options do we have? We can try to leave the table when no one is looking. But then they just find out you are missing and come and find you. We could hide it and say we are done. But then they just find it later and, you guessed it, come and find you. We could hold our nose and choke it down. Make sure you make a lot of really dramatic sour faces when doing this. It gives you the personal illusion that you are causing guilt in the person that served you this meal.

My preferred method, however, when faced with these situations, is to make pea soup. For some reason, as much as I dislike peas, I really like pea soup. So next time life serves you up a great big helping of peas because “it’s good for you”, do something different! We don’t always have to take life the way it is handed to us. There are things we do just because they need to get done. That doesn’t mean we need to do them in an unpleasant way now does it?

Now I Sit Me Down to Write

Now I sit me down to write

I ask God for words not trite

I wish I can, I wish I might

Pen a masterpiece tonight.

Many times as we sit down to write, visions of grandeur fill our minds. After all, how hard can it be? I am sure Charles Dickens or Samuel Clements simply put on paper whatever came to mind didn’t they? It is simply a matter of letting the words flow from our exceptionally creative minds through our fingers to the page. Right?

If it were only that simple. Plot line? What’s a plot line? What do you mean I should rewrite that? I like it that way! For every potential Oscar winning screenwriter out there, for every potential poet laureate, for every possible Nobel laureate for literature, I say enjoy your craft. Do not write for the accolades of man. If you do, your work will find itself becoming a creature that you do not enjoy. Enjoy your craft.

To sit and write for the enjoyment of others, for the edification of others, for the lifting of man’s spirit is more fulfilling than any prize to be won. Enjoy your craft. Find the joy in the development of your story. Watch your characters grow as if they were your own children. Your ideas coalesce into a nearly physical being in your mind as you press on in your work. Enjoy your craft.

Let rewrites become a joy as you mold your piece like a potter would shape a vase. Let your critics become your friends, for the truly honest ones are invaluable to the writer. Enjoy your craft. As with the work on the potter’s wheel, know that many works do not end as originally intended. In well trained, experienced hands many will become great works admired by man. Many more, still will be simply useful, bringing a smile or a reflective moment into someone’s life. Still others will be broken and discarded. But even here the broken pot thrown to the ground becomes the foundation on the soil for new works to begin. Let nothing go to waste. Enjoy your craft.

For the joy in writing comes not in the far flung dreams of grandeur obtained by so few in our world, but rather in the moment of discovery. The birth of an idea, the epiphany of a story line that returns to it path long ago lost in the ramblings of your wandering mind, the joy of one person living a better life because what you put on that page spoke to them when they needed it most. Enjoy your craft and your craft will bring joy.

Is Darwin Dead?

I have recently been thinking about the ongoing debate concerning Darwin and his theory of evolution. Not that I haven't thought about it before, in fact I've studied it to some extent, I've just been recently thinking about it again. No particular reason.

The whole idea of evolution continues to amaze me. In the late 1980's there was a saying: Disco is dead, the Bee Gees just don't know it yet. I would put forth today that Darwin is dead, the Evolutionist just don't know it yet. Now before you cut straight to that reply button at the bottom of my post, please let me explain.

For decades now the argument has been creation vs evolution, or evolution vs creation. It's as if God and Darwin are the only two beings in history to ever have an opinion on the subject. Now Creation Theory, by it's very nature, must be taken on faith. Creationism can not be scientifically proven. It happens to be what I do believe, but I recognize that it is my choice by default and not by scientific reasoning that I believe this way. Therefore I have no means by which to convince you that creationism is the "correct" theory. That belief is entirely up to you.

Where the evolutionary pundits fail in my mind is that they present evolution as fact, which it is not. Remember it is called the Theory of Evolution by Darwin himself. This theory fails on the same test as does the creationist theory. It can not be scientifically proven i.e. it has not been observed in nature and it can not be duplicated in a laboratory.

"Not observed in nature" you say??! What about all of those birds on the Galapagos Islands? What about fruit flies in Hawaii? What about - fill in the blank? Well I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the birds in the Galapagos are still birds. The fruit flies in Hawaii are still fruit flies. The fill in the blank, my guess is still a fill in the blank. What Darwin observed was adaptation, not evolution. Evolution was the mindspring that Darwin created by taking these observed adaptations to an extreme conclusion. Creatures of our planet adapt all the time. The fruit fly was introduce to Hawaii through international shipping and thus has a known point in time that it was established in the Islands. It is not a native to the South Pacific, but it changed over many generations to live and thrive in the warm climate. It adapted, but it is still a fruit fly. You would adapt if you moved from Florida to South Dakota (although adapting to the reverse scenario would be much more palatable.) That in no way means that you have evolved or that your future offspring will be anything but a human like you, even if they are much colder.

Many facets that are taught in schools today as facts of evolutionary theory have in fact been scientifically disproven. The idea of life coming from some promordial ooze not only can not be scientifially proven, it has been show to be chemically impossible.

I was watching a documentary recently about animals in Africa. The show had a decidedly evolutionary bent to it. The commentator began to explain how the giraffe has a special valve in its throat. Without this valve the giraffe would not be able to drink because of the extreme distance below their body mass that they need to reach to be able to drink from the ground. This was very interesting. Something I had never heard of before. Then the commentator went on to explain how this valve had evolved over millions of years of giraffe evolution to bring us to this day of this modern biological marvel, the giraffe that we know and love today. Only one thought came to my mind: If the ancestors of the giraffe did not have this special valve in their throat, how did they drink?

On that note I leave you with my thoughts and the opportunity to ponder your own meaning of the universe.